Just Don't, I Might Cry

Don't get mad at me over things I can't control. Don't raise your voice on me when asking me questions. Don't. Just don't, I might cry after you left. I might talk back, smile and act strong, but it just the mushy me bruised in tears as soon as your shadow disappeared.

Syawal Kali Ini

Termenung lama aku. Mak berharap sangat nak balik kampung. Katanya nak kumpul "kita kita". Aku geleng. Kalau iya pun MCO dah habis, I'll never gather tak kisah among family ke, kawan ke, strangers ke. Nope.

Aku memang tak fikir nak raya pun. Call me paranoid what so ever, me being me. No shake hand, hug, laga pipi. Laga siku boleh kot😂 If setiap tahun aku lah yang decide baju raya satu family warna apa, cat rumah warna apa, langsir warna apa semua tu, not this year. Ahlantak,  we'll celebrate raya without any gathering. Lemang dodol can wait, tak rela aku take risk gadai kesihatan nyawa demi raya...

I try my best buat mak happy. Tengoklah, maybe I'll try cari COD lemang ke apa... 

It's Not Monday

It's not even Monday yet, but I feel my day so damn blue.

As soon I woke up this morning, I feel confused, I'm about to cry without any reason, I feel helpless, fatigue maybe? It quite stressful for me to start my day.

I take a shower, hopeful can calm my emotion and be normal. Nah, the shower filled with my empty thoughts. I hate empty thought, it lead me to over thinking and might make me feel anxiety bout my life.

Out of shower, I dress myself, went to living hall and turn on the tv. I guess tv can make me forget this blue day. Nope, I watch for lil bit and went to my room. I start to cry, silently. I don't know why I'm crying. I cry and hoping it can reduce my stress. But I began grow more confused.

I hate this blue day. I hate it very much