Ayo! Stupidlah you!

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera gais~ ni ha, saya tengah sedih ni. Mana tak sedih. Ramai dok bash kasi hentam sama my pakwe, Marc Marquez. Tak apa, let by gone be by gone ye sesayang sekalian. Biarlah Marc belajar dulu... Dia muda lagi. Biar dia rasa semua benda, up and down dalam carrier dia.

Okay, back to cerita yang nak di ceritakan nih. Hari tu, saya pergi Sepang, tengok race. Dekat sana ramai foreigners, semua orang tahu. Bila nak approach each other, of course speak in English right? As a student, English saya boleh tahan la.. Bukan nak riak, tapi memang tak la teruk bebenor. Dengan kawan-kawan pun saya cakap bahasa omputih biasanya. Sebab... Entah la... Dah biasa kot... 

I went Sepang with my friend. So we borak macam biasa. Suddenly,we saw angmoh yang handsome gila dekat belakang kita orang. Then my friend started whisper "Angmoh with red shirt behind us kinda cute!" I replied "Ha'ah lah! Tall like tiang lampu some more!" After that we continue talking about race. Lepas tu angmoh tadi ada depan saya and macam nak terjatuh. My friend scream "Weh! Angmoh tadilah! It's angmoh laaa!" I didn't see him because ada orang mamat dua orang lalu depan saya at the same time. I said "Angmoh? No lah! Not angmoh la!" But she keep saying it's him. Lepas tu mamat yang lalu tu dengar agaknya, dia cakap "Hah? Angmoi? Angmoi ah~" btw, kawan saya tu rupa cina sikit. Then saya buat muka while jeling dia. I said again to my friend "this is not angmoh la" mamat tadi jerit depan muka saya "Angmo Angmo! Ayo! Stupid lah you!" Sambil buat tangan ala reporter selalu berpantun tu.

We just speak about other person and you getting mad? Why? Angmoh is not a bad word what!? Angmoh is white people. Tak tahu tanya. Tiba-tiba saya kena "stupid" dah kenapa? Masalah kot! As a Malaysian and an asian, I don't speak brit english. I speak manglish a.k.a broken English. Kalau u olls engrish sangat sampai tak faham apa i olls cakap, tak perlulah guna word macam tu. Kita sama-sama Malaysian, jagalah budi bahasa. Marah tak tentu arah! Poraaahhh!

Kepada lelaki yang cakap stupid lah you tu, kenapa awak nak memaki tiba-tiba? Kot ia marah sebab saya cakap awak bukan angmoh, kenapa? Betul apa. Ke marah sebab awak tak secomel dan sekacak angmoh?😏😏😏😏

Dear My Future Husband

Ehem! Ehem! Assalamualaikum! Gais~ Korang macam mana? Bahagia tak? Iolls harap uolls cukup bahagia ya!

Okay, hari tu saya ada borak pasal future husband. Tah macam mana tah boleh masuk topik tu. Semua dok pesan dekat future husband dia orang yang biarlah handsome, kaya, berharta,sweet, mature, tinggi, sado dan sebagainya.... But when it's my turn to speak up. I just like..... Krik krik krik krik....... Ak! Ak! Ak! Gagak melintas. At the end I said that I'm not a picky person. Siapa jodoh aku terima. Redha itu pasrah. Pasrah itu menyerah! Macam kenal line tu kaaaaannnn!

Actually, ni saya nak pesan dekat future husband saya ;

Dear my future husband,

Please make me a good lady to you and be a good man to me. I hope you've seen me without my bb cream before you married me. Because I look super duper horror without it. Please bear with it if you don't want sleep on the sofa. When it's Subuh time, either I wake you up or you wake me up. But please, please don't wake me up with your cold hands. I hate it. My mum always do that and it is spoiling my whole day.

I don't craving for a weird things like other girls would do. Most of the time I just craving nasi lemak sambal lebih tak nak kacang and durian. 

I won't ask gucci,prada,channel or LV like other ladies would do. I'll ask you to not wasting your money like you wasting the water. Unless you can enjoy eating the cruncy stone and sand salad. I'll ask you to save money diligently. 

Dear,

You are lucky marrying to such an economic lady. I don't usually celebrate my birthday. Not because I'm saving my money,so I can marry with you. It is because it only exist on a leap year. And I keep forgetting date and days. Again, you're so lucky,man!

I don't really care what is your job. If it's a halal thing, it's okay. But I really really really hope that you are not a doctor or a teacher. I just hate that two perticular job. I just hating it badly. Don't ask me why. There are too many answers and I don't know where to start. I hope you're not gonna lie to me about what are you doing. If not.... I shall chop off your head! And hang it on the wall.

I hope you love durian too!

Sincerely,

Your future beautiful from the inside wife.

Hah! Gitu kau! I just wrote it in english incase he is a foreigner. Ahaks! Berangan je lebih! Sabar jelah Tipah oi!

Tu je lah kot.... Dah penat menaip dah ni. Nak sambung mimpi di kala bulan tak nampak sebab jerebu.

Rindu🍃

Assalamualaikum, Hai gais! Now dah nak habis tahun da ha.. Cepat je rasa kan?

Semalam saya baru jumpa kawan zaman UPSR yang bertahun tak jumpa. Seorang lelaki, seorang perempuan. At first nak ajak yang perempuan tu tengok movie. Last minute, budak lelaki tu join. 

We promised nak jumpa depan McD pukul dua. Siap pesan keluar rumah pukul 1:30 lagi! Saya ni jenis yang punctual. Tepat pukul dua saya dah tercongok depan McD. As expected, they don't show up yet. I waited around 15 minutes or something, then kawan lelaki yang dah berkurun saya tak jumpa ada depan mata saya. I was like.... Is that him? Really him? Ye la... Dah lama tak jumpa. Last jumpa suara nyet nyet nyet lagi. Ni jumpa dah macam bapak orang! Saya tak tegur dulu. Saya nak cqll kawan yang lagi satu, tapi dia call saya dulu. Saya cakap yang kawan yang lelaki tu dah sampai. But I'm not sure is it him or not. She told me it's him.

After few minutes, he still front of me with his phone. I act like I don't see him. I scroll my tweet updates. Suddenly, saya angkat kepala........ He's gone. Tah mana dia pergi. 

Few seconds after that, he show up again. Than I approached him. I ask wheter he is the one. And he nodded. I bet he don't remember my name. Tah la.. But than, for half and hour I wait with him for the girl. Janji melayu sangat! Movie nak start baru nak sampai. Awkward gila kot masa tunggu berdua. Tak tau nak cakap apa. At last we talked about study je.

We decide to watch Everest. Actually, saya pernah dengar cerita tu sekali je. Tu pun dengar tak dengar je. Never seen the trailer before. Tak tahu cerita tu pasal apa pun. Dia orang nak tengok, saya ikut je lah. Masa beli ticket tu, tinggal lebih kurang 15 minit macam tu la.. Sebenarnya saya tak nak tengok cerita tu, tapi tak ada cerita best. 

Bila iklan movie dah nak habis, kawan perempuan saya pesan kalau dia menangis jangan tengok. I was like Cerita ni sedih ke? Tapi pasal hiking je kan? Apa yang sedih? Dalam cinema tu tak ramai orang, so kita orang agak bising juga la.. Lama tak jumpa, semua perangai keluar ah!

Lama sikit. Sampai part sedih, my nose start feel stuffy. Slowly my tears dropping. I try wipe it laju-laju. So that budak berdua tu tak perasan. Tapi hingus hi tak boleh cover babe! Kawan lelaki saya terus tanya "Kau nangis ke?" I said "Mana ada. Diam lah!" Then he look at me, right in my eyes. Seram woi! He ask again "kau nangis betul-betul ke?" Lepas tu gelak. Saya pun gelak ah juga. He never seen me as a lady before. Sedih kot part tu! Malu gila!

Lepas movie they teman saya shopping. They offered their self as my trolley. So sweet kot! Tapi saya stop beli barang dengan 1 paper bag je. Tak ada barang nak beli. Or specifically tak jumpa kedai. 1 bag tu pun dia orang tak bagi saya pegang. Pelik kot! I just hold a small hand bag with me. Bukan bawa anak pun. But Saya anggap tu sweet la..

Message for the two :

Gais, mekasih banget ya! Korang teman kita tengok movie, belanja makan, jadi trolley, tumpangkan balik. Korang sweet sangat! Kita hope dapat keluar lagi dengan korang lepas ni!! 

Kalau dulu, kita queen of selfie. Now not anymore. I found that person like korang tak suka stuff like that. BTW, rindu gila korang!