What Is Wrong With Me?

Hi gang. Assalamualaikum.

Today is the 2nd week of me having insomnia and over sleep. My bed time become chaotic when its already 5.30 am and I'm still wide open. I'm not really sure why I'm having this. But it kind of a panic reaction when the school holiday reaching the end. Think so lah... Not really sure about that.

Actually having this 'panic' stuff till can't even go to sleep on time are not new symptom to me. I've been with it every time I come back home once in two weeks. Every time my brain realized that I need get to the hostel, it will mess up my sleep,  my stress and make me slightly depressed with it.

Other than that, few weeks after my dad passed away. I'm having problem with day and date. Every time before sleep, I'll remind myself what day is today and what day is tomorrow. For example, today is 28th of December 2017 Thursday. And tomorrow will be 29th of December 2017 Friday. But when I woke up, my mind automatically thought that it already Saturday morning of 30th December 2017. Basically my brain will skip a day and it does messed up my life. When I've movie date or some event, I literally thought its today but its actually on tomorrow. Absolutely no idea what kind of syndrome I'm having.

Having sleep and memory problems little bit bother me. So far no terrible panic attack yet. But acute panic attack does occurred. Which made me throw my self lay on my stomach and become paralyzed for few minutes. At that time my body covered with cold sweat and trembling but I try calm my self. One thing on my mind, Allah. I keep istighfar in my mind. When I feel I can move my fingers, my arms and my whole body, I get couple gulps of water.

What is wrong with me? Is it really a syndrome? Or it just my brain need some attention? Or it just me lack of attention? *LOL* But, Alhamdulillah. I'm still breathing and yet healthy enough.

By the way, did you guys read the title like Moana song? "What is wrong with me? See the light na na na na na it's call meeee..." I'm sorry, my memory aren't good enough to remember that song.. But I bet you guys know it right?

Cuti Woi 2

Ehehe... Assalamualaikum, canner cuti? Ada baik tada baik? 😅😂😂

For bebudak sekolah, just tinggal seminggu lebih je lagi before back to school. Tak lupa kepada bukan bebudak sekolah, salah satu kategori itu is penuntut-penuntut kolej vokasional 😂😂🙈🙈🙈 For those pelajar KV tahun 3&4, jangan lupa untuk kembali melaporkan diri ke kolej anda😂😂😂😂

Ha.... Dah puas berjalan dekat KL, aku buat apa lagi time cuti? Konon menikmati cuti sangat katekaaaauu! Lol! Life aku simple, so what I do selain keluar merayap di kota raya is layan iflix. Best wehhhhhh!! Semua movie leleh, action, klakor semua ade! Lagi lagi cerita anime. Tak banyak tapi boleh tahan memuaskan lah lists dia. Boleh ah kalau nak layan attack on titan full marathon sendiri. Tapi jangan tinggal solat eh! Kau tak takut tuhan ke?😂 Movie boleh layan, tuhan jangan lupa weh.

Selain movie, aku pun qada' KDrama yang aku miss masa dekat asrama😅 Korang pun should do the same actually. Lagi lagi if korang jenis macam aku yang tak berapa layan drama on laptop lepastu tengok ramai-ramai. Nak nak dapat member yang dah tengok episode tu then bagi spoiler. Gosh, annoying kot.  I prefer watch it alone or maybe 2-3 orang je. Lebih, wa chaw duloo.. See? My life is so simple😏

Few movies and drama aku watch also rewatch is Twilight all the series, The strong woman Do Bong Soon, Roof Top Prince, The last song, Attack on Titan, The Weightlifting Fairy, master chef junior Aus., banyak lagi ah..

For newbies, korang akan dapat 1 month duration untuk watch all the videos uninterrupted. Korang pun boleh download untuk offline tau! Macam YouTube jugak. So, do install iflix now and watch all your missed KDrama episodes there😉👍

Haaa... Adventure time pun hadooo!

My Taste

Ehem! Assalamualaikum. hehehe... Mood menggatal nak sembang pasal lelaki dah mai dekat iolls lah!

Well, recently I feel agak tua dan terfikir about lepas grad first diploma nak pergi mana? Nak kerja apa? Lepas practical nak kerja bidang apa? Nak sambung degree or nak ambil diploma lain? ke....... nak kahwin terus? 

Gatal sat na....

Lol! Jauh na fikir jemah oiiiii!! Ada ke laki nak nikah dengan aku? Heh! Beras pun mak belikan, berangan nak menikah!

Well, jangan kecam begitu... Ini adalah bebelan mengarut about my angan-angan yang mengarut.

Okay, bila aku dok usha punya usha explore dekat instagram, aku berkenan sangat dengan mamat latin. Dorang tak la handsome mana, tak lah cute mana. Tapi dorang ada charms wooooo. 

Ada apa? ADA CHARMS woooo!

I just love their facial hair actually. Kening, beard and including rambut. They are good in styling it and looks hot on them. Literally suka gila kening lebat, ada beard yang fade fade gitu, and effortless looks hair.Aku jenis tak berapa minat hat mata biru. Sebab somehow aku rasa mata biru ni kind of sharp and menakutkan. Tapi  most of the time lawo ja mata biru, just aku je tak berapa minat.

One more thing, aku perasan gak orang belah belah Spain, Italy sana tu sweet bila dah kahwin. Tak tau la tu depan camera je ke or memang culture dorang. Yang aku pernah tengok reality show dorang ah, ada husband tu siap buat laundry and basuh pinggan. Alasan mamat tu bagi, tu memang cara dorang after married. Tak tau tu propa je ke or reality. But I'd like if dapat husband yang sanggup tolong buat kerja rumah. Even tolong curahkan softener baju bila mesin basuh tengah rinse mood.

Sebab aku ada tulis cerita wattpad pasal italian love story, aku pun buat research tak bertauliah about italian men. And guess what? Aku found Mariano Di Vaio. Heeee

Well, he is married and ada anak. As korang nampak, dia ni tak la handsome mana. Tapi sebab kening elok terbentuk, those clean looking beard, and that quiff hairstyle nampakkan charm dia. Add-on lak senyum manis tahap potong kaki. Woiii! Melting jemah ha!

Lepas tu, aku suka accent dorang. Macam Marc Marquez. Suka dengar dorang punya loghat. Bahasa dorang pun boleh lah senang nak belajar. Em, yang aku nampak la, mexican dengan spanish dengan italian banyak words or phrase yang lebih kurang sama. So, senang actually nak pickup those three languages. Aku pernah belajar Spanish guna app burung hijau. Senang nak ingat, interactive and fun. (App Duo Lingo) Aku pun pernah belajar France guna app tu. France ni ada lah sikit-sikit words arabic yang aku belajar time sekolah dulu... Tapi Spanish lagi senang kot...

Alright, cukup berangan. Sat lagi kang tumbuh pula jerawat kat dagu kang *Syirikkkk*

Rindu

Hey, Assalamualaikum gang...

It has been 293 days my beloved ayah kembali kepada si Pencipta. *very deep sigh* 

What do I feel? How do I feel? How I'm doing?

Very well, Alhamdulillah. Tipulah kalau kata langsung tak nangis dah, but not as bad as dulu lah. I'm trying to get into my self back. Every time teringat ayah, I try my best to recall our sweet, happy moments together. And yeah, that help me ukir senyuman kembali.

I miss him. Rindu, memang rindu gila gila gila. Tapi kena redha dengan ketentuan Allah kan... *cliche gileee* 

What do I most rindu about my ayah?

I miss his beard. Aku paling tak suka bila dia have a clean licin habis shave. Sebab ayah aku ni suka cium aku. Yang adik-beradik lain  aku tak tau lah, tapi mungkin sebab aku paling kecik, sooo....

Okay, bila dia kiss dahi ke, pipi ke, memang terasa kasar janggut dia. I miss that. 

Kepada future husband I, silalah bela beard sikit. Kasi tajam-tajam sikit ye

Lepas tu, aku rindu gila nak ikut dia memancing udang. Pancing ikan aku tak berapa minat sebab lambat sangat! Kalau udang, copek yo... Tak kesah lah dekat lombong ke, sungai ke, kalau kolam lagi BEST! Sebab nanti mesti ada food cart datang jual jajan. LOL! Port kitorang dekat area Hulu Langat ah. Tapi tak tau wujud lagi ke tak kolam udang situ.

Ha! Lagi satu aku rindu pasal ayah aku. Ayah aku selalu sangat beli durian. Sampai tahap peti sejuk tu tak lekang bau durian weh... Gentle, kalau kau taruk kek red velvet secret recipe dalam tu, confirm rasa durian! Now bila ayah tak ada, aku pun kempunan macam mengandung 9 bulan nak makan durian. Dekat setahun dah tak merasa durian ha... I miss his figure bawak plastic koyak-koyak sebab duri durian. Lepas tu dia akan bentang surat khabar, lepas tu ajak makan berjemaah depan tv sambil tengok WWE! Weh, rindu weh...

Dah la. Sebak lak ha. Kang menangis sorang-sorang lak aku. Well, doakan Wan Zulkifli bin Wan Ismail dijauhkan daripada azab kubur, dan dipermudahkan menjawab soalan malaikat munkar dan nakir. 

Cuti Woi

Assalamualaikum guuuuyyyyssss!! Finally Jemah dah coti-coti Malaysia katekauuu! Aimaklom, coti serentak ikut dak2 sekolah...

Bila dah cuti, aku ni bukan reti nak duduk diam. Mesti berjalan punya weehhh! Lagi2 LRT dekat sekali dihati kamiiii! Eh! Dekat dengan rumah sebenarnya....

Well, den poei mano yo? Well, buat masa ni KL je makcik mampu jalan... KL mano? KL of course kena jejak #ExpoNegaraku2017🇲🇾 dulu! Dah lepas 5 khubah tu baru boleh jejak tempat lain. 

Dekat expo tu ada kejadian weh. Aku punya harok berjimba kesana kemari cari makanan lepas dah makan. Sebab kami jenis nak 'merasa' sampai kenyang uoolllss! Sedang kami berhuhahuha, tiba-tiba ada unnie sorang ni taril lengan aku. Dia kata "Pelis helwp me. Ayam... Berry sick! Werrree khospitel? Aiwanna go to deee khospitel berry past!" (Please help me. I'm..... Very sick! Where's hospital? I wanna go to the hospital very fast!) At first aku tak paham, aku pandang memember aku yang lain. Dorang lagi blur weh! Aku pun puas mencerna butir patah apa dia cakap then translate kat memember aku.

Dipendekkan cerita, memember aku pun tolong call the medic crew that memang on standby mode. Dah panggil depa bawa unnie tu dengan ommunie dia naik ambulance. Aku rasa dia tak tahan panas kot... Sebab dia ada mention "ayam feel so dijji"😂😂😂 kome paham ke idok? (I'm feel so dizzy) aku tau yang english depa berhabuk, tapi okay la tu... Paham lah jugak katekauu! 

Lepas tu aku pun melencong untuk melancong sekitar historical places in KL. banyak, tapi banyak aku pun tak tahu tempat tu😅😅

Lepas tu I take some of my cuti time untuk disumbang menjadi my leisure time. Aku pergi tengok movie Coco dekat KLCC dengan member sekolah rendah dulu. Lepas rindu ah kiranya.... Habis je movie, we decide lepak dulu ah. Ha kau, tiba-tiba lagiii.... Tiba-tiba ada dua orang mamat nihongo mai. Depa amat bersopan santun kaaaauuu! Nak tanya minta izin banyak kali! 

At first I thought that they want to ask about direction to somewhere. But not! They asking us about Malaysian woi! Dorang tanya "why Malaysian are so friendly towards foreigners and tourists?" Aku pun dengan confident jawab soalan depa dengan positifnya! Banyak juga dorang tanya. Maybe ada assignment kot. 

But those two Japanese men, we're apologize if our answers didn't help you guys knowing more about Malaysian cultures. 

For tourists that want to know more about malaysian culture, you should go to any of our heritage city. Such as Malacca and penang. Maybe sabah and sarawak too. KL is more about our modern life surrounded by tall buildings and flyovers everywhere.

Aku time cuti ni banyak jadi duta Malaysia tak berbayar katekauuu! Tapi tak pa, memang kita as rakyat Malaysia memang kena bawa nama negara even nak pergi lepak dekat KLCC je pun. Adab, sopan santun kena jaga. Sebab tourists and foreigners ada je dok perati perangai budaya kita. Why not we show them our budaya sopan santun? Senyum bila depa pandang. But don't bagi creepy smila eh! Help them when they needed. Kalau tak dapat tolong minta maaf. 

Okay lah, jemah nak sambung menikmati cuti ni ha. Selamat bercoti buat yang cotiii! Sapa kerja, selamat bekerja! 🤗🤗🤗

Lagi kasar daripada garam kasar

Hai korang! Well, I'm here again. Nak bebel something nih.

As korang tahu, aku dah tukar status jadi anak yatim as my ayah passed away bulan 3 dulu. Things changed. Aku, kawan-kawan aku, surrounding, semua ah senang cerita.

Bila aku ada title anak yatim, kawan-kawan aku blames my mistakes sebab status tersebut. Nak contoh tak? Well, this agak kasar, bahkan lagi kasar daripada garam kasar yang kau tenyeh dekat ikan bagi hilang bau hanyir ikan tu. 

Here we go, dia orang pernah kata; "Dah tak ada bapak, buatlah cara tak ada bapak."  Lagi? Boleh.... Dia orang pun ada juga kata; "Patulah dia macam tu.... Diakan tak ada bapak!" 

Well, teruk sangat ke aku tak ada ayah? Kalau ayah aku ada, confirm ke aku tak teruk macam tu? Kenapa kena libatkan ayah aku dalam kesalahan aku?

Bukan senang bergelar anak yatim weh. Surrounding bukan kena adapt dengan kita orang, tapi kita orang kena adapt dengan surrounding. Memang tak selesa. Tapi ye lah... Kita semuakan manusia, bukan malaikat. Iyer dokkk?

Al-Fatihah to my late ayah, Wan Zulkifli bin Wan Ismail